My Will specifies that I’m to be cremated rather than buried but, at a funeral last week I listened with interest as the coffin slid slowly into the flames to the accompaniment of Gracie Fields’ “We’ll Meet Again.”
So, I started wondering – what are the top tunes for a cremation ceremony? Personally, I’m going out to the theme tune for “The Great Escape”. My brother Liam favours “Spirit in the Sky”. Here in full though is a top ten list.
I’ve started with the Arthur Brown opus which I think would be ideal for religious ceremonies and will almost certainly put a smile on your local vicar’s face.
- Fire (Welcome to the God of Hellfire) – Arthur Brown
- Don’t Stop Me Now (I’m having such a good time) – Queen
- Staying Alive – Bee Gees
- The Great Escape (cue in Steve McQueen on a motorbike) – Elmer Bernstein
- Spirit In The Sky – Norman Greenbaum
- I Will Survive – Gloria Gaynor
- Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Elton John
- Help – The Beatles
- I Wanna Hold Your Hand – The Beatles (yes, them again)
Strangely enough, when I spellchecked this list before posting it the spell checker replaced “having such a good time” with “having an appropriate time”. Do you think it would have been a hit if Freddie Mercury had used that phrase instead? Try singing it and see what you think? I think Oasis should have used a spell checker for some of their stuff given how awful their lyrics are. Noel knew how to pen a good tune but he really was rubbish at lyrics. “You’re my Wonder Wall”? Seriously?
Anyway, those of you who are good at maths will have noticed I’ve only come up with nine tunes rather than ten but you can’t have a top nine list, can you? So you’re all welcome to come up with recommendations for the remaining tune and I’ll award a prize for the best suggestion. No, don’t ask me what the prize will be – let’s see what you all come up with first.
Incidentally some of the more astute amongst you will have noticed I’ve used the French poster for the Great Escape. This is in recognition of Brexit and the fact that (so I’m reliably informed by Jean-Claude Juncker) French is now the coming language and very soon the only people who will speak English will be us and the Americans. And there is an argument that the Americans don’t really speak English either – it’s mostly Spanish I believe. This is my favourite Jean-Claude Juncker quote by the way. When the euro was introduced, he said: “We decide on something, leave it lying around, and wait and see what happens. If no one kicks up a fuss, because most people don’t understand what has been decided, we continue step-by-step until there is no turning back”.